The Yuletide 2023 Commentary Post

[calliopes_pen]

-The grand total for the word count was 14,323 words, even if Ao3 says it's longer by factoring in various other things. Thus making this the shortest thing I’ve written for Yuletide since 2013. Yuletide has been going for 20 years now, and this was apparently my 17th year participating, since I’ve been doing this since 2006.

I was genuinely amazed and pleased to discover that the story I wrote was recced by at least two people before reveals. Thank you, saiditallbefore and fresne!

-Beta reading went down to the wire since I kept adding things. We were still going until Christmas Eve.

-The title was probably the toughest thing for this year’s assignment. When we started the beta reading process, the story was called Like Ghosts The Shadows Rise And Fall, but that just never did feel quite right for it, especially once the ghost became an actual thing, and not just metaphorical. In the middle of the process of beta reading and up to a little after I uploaded it to Ao3, the title became Looming Behind The Whisper In The Cold Night Air.

For context of that one? It’s from a very obscure rock opera musical called Nosferatu The Vampire, which uses that lyric in one song called Somewhere At The Edges of Creation. You can listen to the entire playlist on Youtube. While it could have been fine, I just kept feeling like it was a little too long. Other options that were briefly considered and rejected for an assortment of other reasons: Wandering From The Nightly Shore. Weave For Me The Sunshine.

There was an attempted alteration of the quote "This chamber changed for one more holy," which didn’t quite gel.

Let The Lightning Split The Sky wasn’t right for the tone of the story, though it was perfectly in keeping with Jonathan’s thoughts toward the end. It’s also a reference to Dracula: A Chamber Musical, specifically the Jonathan/Mina song I Will Shelter You. An excerpt of that (used to fend off Dracula in the end, smashing through mind control) duet: “Come the thunder. Come the rain. You and I, love, will remain! Let the lightning split the sky. We shall triumph by and by!”

Speaking of the above, I have a copy of Dracula: A Chamber Musical, as well as an ebook version of the book that has all the lyrics. For anyone interested in seeing some Jonathan/Mina, I can always upload one or the other or both to Google Drive.

Oh, hey, and after a quick Youtube search, I found the audio for the reprisal of I Will Shelter You, the very moment I mentioned; I Will Shelter You was originally sung when Jonathan and Mina were being married, accompanied by Seward and Lucy. Jonathan starts the reprisal duet at 3:07.

-And then, I just kept bumping into the poem Haunted Houses, written by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. I read it again, and loved it. Harmless Phantoms On Their Errands Glide felt like it worked far better for the tone, and I went with that. It also worked nicely for Jonathan’s emotion as he witnessed his very first ghost.

-When I first started plotting what I would be writing, I was initially going to have everyone already at an inn, Quincey having somehow survived. An aspect of that one would have had him turn out to be a werewolf, and need to run off as a wolf, and come back for some reason. Jonathan would have witnessed his transformation into a man and freaked out over it. For whatever reason, I didn’t end up going with it in the end.

However, a fraction of their conversation after a massive overhaul was used when Jonathan realizes Quincey heals at superhuman speed. The whole “What are you, Quincey Morris?” A tiny nod to the rejected werewolf plot is Quincey denying he’s that, and saying his uncle was rumored to be one. It felt like a nice bonding moment between Jonathan and Quincey, and even if it required retooling to get there, they had that going down between them.

-Another plot considered and rejected: a quick picnic between Jonathan and Mina, after October 3rd. They’re a bit too traumatized to enjoy it, though Quincey is lurking around the bushes to protect them, and Arthur arrives with hot cocoa. Jonathan and Mina are trying to cope, and Jonathan hopes to bore Dracula with such mundane activity if he’s watching everything through her.

Opted to go a different way instead, and go post-story AU, Quincey alive, with Jonathan and the crew going through the gothic trauma of a night spent in Castle Dracula, in Jonathan’s old room.

-Jonathan and Mina in the snow: I had a few ways that could go. The other version was him realizing they’re all safe, and it’s over, and just having an emotional breakdown, absolutely weeping on her in the snow. It was only a handful of paragraphs in duration for the crying jag, and ended with Mina assuring him they were safe now, and Arthur handing him his best handkerchief.

The moment between Jonathan and Mina flowed better when they were just happy to be alive. It also brought with it Mina’s POV as she tackles him in that kiss. They could have some happiness after all the horror, and not alternate back and forth weirdly. It also provided me with this moment between Van Helsing and Mina afterwards: “But no more strenuous exertion in our presence, yes? Pity the old man’s heart, and friend John’s blushes.”

-Another version planned and rejected was Quincey down on the ground, Jonathan thinking he’s dead and devastated, only for Quincey to mention yeah, he’s fine. Just ready to take a nap after that fight. Opens his eyes, can’t get away from revealing to everyone that he’s already healed, and it sort of hit a dead end around there, knowing that momentarily Seward and Van Helsing would bombard the man with questions. Jonathan sort of loses it for a moment, alternately hugging Quincey and weeping with joy on him.

Didn’t go that route, but Quincey in the story I did write knows not to tell the two just yet, because they will do that very thing.

-Thanks to all the Dracula Daily discussions that I read on Tumblr, I realized that Mary the maid might just think Jonathan and Mina were dead, since the last time she saw them in September, they were on the way to Seward’s; when they return after this in November, Jonathan’s going to be all strange and white-haired. Mina has a brief musing about what they should do to send word to her.

-No, I don’t know what Jonathan is now. I just know that he’s been left with the ability to see in the dark for the purposes of this story, and he was able to lift a coffin with a fully grown vampire in it, and throw it like it was nothing in the novel. Ice cold hands and burning eyes are canon, but I made them burn blue to differentiate from vampires. Also, I realize now that there could very well be an accidental reference and/or connection to the blue flames Jonathan encountered with that. Do they burn when you approach buried treasure? You’re rich!

-Quincey’s still just Quincey with a shred of some mystery to him, though Sean and I snarked that now he’s a Highlander style Immortal given the enhanced healing. Granted, one with no decapitation going on.

-During the beta reading process, I went back and consulted the novel for how Jonathan’s room looked. And so I remembered that there was a little octagonal area prior to that. Previously, it would have been just two paragraphs to get to the room, but after that rereading, gained more description, and Arthur leading Seward by the hand when he’s too interested in the history.

-Originally, the plan was for Jonathan and Quincey to open a door, see the ghost, go “Nope, try another room,” and close it again. Until I changed things and they actually went in and interacted with her, and had the whole “what are you?” moment with Quincey. Yes, when he asks if she’s carrying her head, Quincey is referencing Anne Boleyn.

-Behind the scenes, I’m pretty sure that Van Helsing will be saying no to taking some of the books back, out of an abundance of caution. You never know what else might come along. Also because they might get damaged by the snow and ice as they travel.

-Mina ponders they could very well become “scholars of the night.” That’s probably what they’ll call themselves.

-Evidently, sleeping on a haunted mattress does wonders for Seward’s insomnia. The man is fast asleep when Arthur crawls down there to join him.

-In the end scene, I originally had Quincey interrupt the very sweet Jonathan/Mina moment before she finally puts his head on his chest and listens to the thumping of Jonathan’s heart. I didn’t want to ruin it with an interruption of that sort, so he was confined to the opposite side of the bed, and Arthur vacated the bed.

So here, have that quirky little moment as a bonus, from right before Jonathan opens his arms for Mina!

Jonathan stretched up his hand, and caressed her cheek; stroked the unmarred forehead. Words were not needed. She huffed a laugh when one of the bed’s other occupants opted to call attention to himself and interrupt them. Quincey’s hand patted her hair as though she were a foal. Jonathan covered his mouth to stifle his chortle before it could be unleashed.

After a playfully stern glare at Quincey for intruding, she saw him grin prior to withdrawing. He rolled over, chuckling softly. Particular movements could not be accomplished in such cramped quarters as this arrangement, and so she chose patience. They could restrain themselves until they reached suitable lodgings.

Jonathan held his arms open, ready for her. She kissed his chin, but refrained from doing more. Not here; not yet; they weren’t ready. She nestled herself against Jonathan’s chest, and moved until her ear was pressed against his heart. The gentle thumping eased her mind, even as the repetitive sound bid slumber to approach.

-The date of their return to the castle in this AU would coincide with their return in the novel. According to the epilogue in the novel, they went back that past summer, and the end is set seven years later. Which makes it about six years for them to gather enough knowledge to learn just how they can help what ghosts want to leave the castle in this version.

-I would estimate that Quincey told Van Helsing and Seward separately about his status, just prior to whatever agency they set up getting into full swing, so that he wouldn’t get questioned by two at once. Jonathan, of course, told Mina the instant they were in their own room at an inn. They respected Quincey’s need for doing it on his own terms. At some point, as a group, they all went to Texas to find out from Quincey’s family just how many weird things were in that family tree.

It’s probably got werewolves sprinkled around, and maybe a gargoyle, but probably not Goatman/The Lake Worth Monster! Maybe some mysterious phantasm haunts the grounds of their ranch.