calliopes_pen | Willow Drabble #9

Set during season 6, in the aftermath of Tabula Rasa. Written for

btvsats_20. Willow is a bit intense and reflective after everything that happened.

Have I ever let someone down? Oh, funny you should ask me that, today of all days. Two people, actually. Of course, if you’re going to be talking about the kind of mistake that really gut wrenchingly twists the knife and kills all hope, I would have to say yes to that, as well.

Who did I let down? The first, and the least painful, (although just as stupid) would be Buffy. I tore her out of Heaven! That’s...that’s just unforgivable. I never would have realized if it weren’t for that awful song and dance routine everyone was forced into. I thought she was in pain--she fell through a portal before she hit the ground, her soul could have been in pain. Who knew she wasn’t in a hell dimension?! I should have realized...I should have checked a spell before I did anything, or tried scrying or something...

Amazingly, that wasn’t the worst mistake, or the worst way I let someone down.

I took Tara’s memories. I took everyone’s memories a couple hours ago, in another stupid, moronic attempt to fix things. For one brief moment, I had forgotten Glory. Taking something from her mind is the worst violation since the day her sanity was stolen. It’s unforgivable.

I thought if Tara couldn’t remember us arguing over my use of magic, things would be better. We would be better. We could pick up where we left off before the bad things started, and things would be okay--better. Happier.

It wasn’t. It just made things so much worse.

Tara’s gone. My friend’s trust in me is probably almost gone since I took their memories, too.

And now, all that’s left with me...is magic. That’s what got me into this mess in the first place!

I don’t think anything could fix things now...

Please forgive me, baby!